I’m in a restaurant, slightly fancy I’d say - not quite fancy enough that it has table cloths, but fancy enough that it has mood lighting and the menu is in black - sitting in a corner by the window, my favourite spot, writing, and thinking, and sipping a glass of wine, and people watching. It’s night time, it’s dinner time, and I’m the only one at this restaurant eating alone. There’s one guy not really talking to the group he’s with, he’s sort of doing his own thing I guess, but still he’s with a group. And so of course, this blog is about what I’ve discovered you need the most when traveling alone. This is the list of everything you’d need to pack before leaving, beyond what you’re packing into your suitcase. This is everything you need to pack into your head - abilities, thoughts, attitudes, a different mental set - to be able to travel alone. In my opinion, of course. To travel alone as a woman, you have to know how to:
- Keep your guards up at all times. Daytime and night time, when you’re alone or with a group you’ve just met, whether you feel safe or scared.
- Walk with a purpose, even if you have no idea where you’re going, and the art of reading a map surreptitiously.
- Act a little psycho sometimes, to ward off anyone suspect, anyone weird, anyone you just don’t want talking to you or noticing you (Sometimes while walking at night, I’ll swing my arms wildly and talk to myself – it’s worked, people notice you, yes, but not the way they would notice you if you were walking back to your hostel alone normally).
- Be able to talk to yourself – not as a distraction but more for entertainment. Sometimes there are funny things you think of while sightseeing that are just funnier said out loud.
- Be able to laugh out loud – see point above. The response to said funny thing spoken out loud should also then be laughed at out loud (see 2 points ahead, this could also be used as a distraction to ward someone off).
- Ask a lot of questions.
- Be ok feeling like an idiot.
- Express yourself through writing (because there’s so much to share, and you may not always have people around you who you can share it with, or there might be language barriers – I tried to talk about traveling alone to someone in Spanish. After struggling for lack of words, I think I ended my point by saying “it’s very difficult sometimes, but also good for thoughts and strength”).
- Determine when it’s ok to tell someone you’re traveling alone and when it’s not.
- Being ok walking in then right back out of a restaurant without feeling bad (my quick way of telling if it’s a restaurant I’ll feel comfortable eating alone in is by whether or not they have table cloths. Table cloths = date restaurants. Date restaurants = awkward for eating alone).
- Be ok eating alone.
I wonder what it is about the eating alone thing that many people (including me), are able to do much more easily while travelling in a foreign land (partly ‘cause they have to) than at home. Is it because when you’re in a foreign land, you’re not likely to run into anyone you know while you dine alone? Is it the sheer risk of running into someone you know that prevents dining alone in your home town? Is the fact that, since you don’t understand what anyone is saying and you feel invisible, that you think you might actually BE invisible to them, therefore making it easier? That’s sort of like the thing cats and dogs do isn’t it, when the hide their heads while still having their butts sticking out from under the couch and think you can’t see them. This digression of mine is making me laugh but I can’t help but wonder why it is easier for us to do things when away that we would be way to embarrassed to do at home. Maybe it’s that you’re already outside your comfort zone and therefore extending yourself further seems natural. I wonder what and how many types of behaviours this theory could extend to. Risky behaviour undertaken away from home. Chances taken away more so than at home. More adrenaline-seeking activities? The public health and psychology geek in me wants to know more about home versus away, and what mental changes take place. I wonder if behaviour changes away could help guide how to modify behaviour at home. Ah well.... Ok back to travelling alone.
- Pack light
- Read maps
- Be ok with asking someone to take your photo, and then carrying out that goofy pose you thought of in your head after all.
- Remembering the things you enjoy – glass of wine and live music, balconies, parks and fountains, entering bookstores even when they’re all foreign, cafe’s and people watching – and then actively seeking them out.
- Be ok giving out your contact information
- Be ok going with the flow (sometimes, even when things are under your control, they’re not under your control...best thing to do is to laugh, and to remember that there are people back home who DO understand you).
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